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With apologies to Bruce Cockburn!🙈🤣
I run my dogs each day at my friend and neighbour Leslie’s property, which borders a 100 acre wood 🌳🌲🍁Even on days I feel hurried or harried, I make the time to walk there - device free - 📱❌ - and each time I leave feeling so much better 🥰
But lately, my safe haven has begun to feel a little less so….I’ve spotted poop on the trail, and it doesn’t belong to another dog 😳 Today, my fears spiked sharply when I met another hiker, armed with bear spray & bear bells on her dog - she’d also seen the telltale signs 💩
Immediately, my mind began racing with worries, and what is usually a self-care practice which nurtures and restores me had the effect of adding to my stress rather than alleviating it.
Now, I’ve had first hand experience with black bears (see below) and I know they deserve my distance and respect. What was interesting to me in the moment was noticing how quickly my thoughts spiraled downward 😣
The negativity bias is real.
And when there’s a bear close by, it’s legit and trying to keep me safe (and ALIVE!). But how often do we end up in negative looping thoughts which keep us stuck in old, unhelpful stories? As Harvard-trained Sociologist & Life Coach Martha Beck reminds us, the path from misery to integrity is simple in principle, yet harder in practice:
1-Observe thoughts that cause suffering
2-Question them
3-Move on
How friendly is the voice in Your head?
Since I started practicing as a professional astrologer and coach, it quickly became apparent that many of my clients were at the mercy of the saboteurs speaking loudest from within. I knew all about this. I had my own realization almost a decade ago that the voice I used with myself (at that time) was one of the least kind I'd ever encountered. And it often said things I wouldn't dream of saying to a person who'd truly hurt me, let alone to someone I care about and love. So why was I tolerating its abuse of me?
Well, for starters, I was so accustomed to it, that I hadn't really *noticed* it! Can you relate? 🙋🏻♀️ Its nasty tone & impatience, belittling & berating me. Once I was able to hear it clearly, I couldn't "unhear" it! And THAT was when things started to shift. I applied my own version of Martha's 3 steps & I continue to do so.
Becoming aware of my own blind spots and learning how to address them, not through criticism and judgement, but with compassion and care, is what inspired me to return to school for my Coaching Certification so that I could share this learning with others and help illuminate their paths to clarity & connection✨
Are you Emotionally Sober?
I was today years old when I heard the term Emotional Sobriety used by Liz Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love Liz) in a podcast interview with Oprah. It was a great listen and you can catch it here
She was describing her 35+ years of unhealthy relationship dynamics such as co-dependence, enabling, people-pleasing and self-abandonment. These are all behaviours which many of my own clients struggle with, and which I myself am still actively recovering from (Libra Rising here folks, the struggle is REAL!)
These patterns are usually rooted in deep fear - a primal and usually unconscious belief that we are unloved, unlovable and doomed to be alone. Definitely much scarier than meeting a bear in the woods.
Is it ok I'm Hearing Voices? As Long as They're Friendly!😉🤦🏻♀️
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. And if you feel like that partnership needs some work, let's talk! Come back into balance, gain clarity and experience heart felt connection which ripples into all of your key one-to-ones💞
Peace, love, and light🕊️
Naomi
PS -The last time I came close to a Black Bear in the wild - I was in a car, thank Goddess!🙏No repeats please!
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